“What kind of Jew are you?” – said with an exceedingly Southern USA drawl

The Scene – Hartsfield Atlanta Airport; next to one of the precious electric outlets.

The Characters –

“The Southern Guy” – wearing the Carolina Panther’s football jersey, with #77 on the back – name on the jersey reads, “HAPPYDAD”

“The Jewish Guy” – wearing “business casual”, kippa (knit, of course), eating his dinner of jelly beans.....

.............

Southern guy (SG) – “Sure need more sockets for chargin’ cell phones ‘round here.”

Jewish Guy – (JG) – “Yeah, I think they did not really have laptops and cell phones in mind when they designed this waiting area.”

……

JG – “Are you going to Israel today?”

SG – “Yeah, with my wife and church group.”

JG – “I see a lot of church groups going over on these flights – that’s great.”

SG – “…..so do we go over the ocean the whole way to get to Israel?”

JG – “…..uh, yeah, I mean, we stick pretty close to the East Coast up to the Newfoundland area, I think, but yeah, there is a lot of ocean between here and Israel.”

SG – “This is my first time flying.”

JG – “(!)…..you might want to take a Benadryl or something, get some sleep on the flight….”

SG - “…my wife packed this.”

JG – “…I’m not sure that the eye drops are really going to do the trick…..”

SG – “I wear contacts.”

JG – “Well in that case, you are going to need them.”

……….

SG – “So when did you convert to Judaism?”

JG – “What?”

SG – “When did you convert?”

JG – “I didn’t convert – I am Jewish – I have always been Jewish….”

SG – “But you are from America, right?”

JG – “Hell, yeah. My family is Jewish though.”

SG – “….oh….”

…….

SG – “Do you know Matisyahu?”

JG – “Sure – the rapper.”

SG – “Yeah, that’s him. Is he Chasidic?”

JG – “I guess you could say, yeah, you might want to ask him though. He is from a group a people called ‘Chabad’, they are Chasidic.”

SG – “So, is that like really conservative Jewish. That beard, black hat and all…..”

JG – “I don’t know, you might have to ask him.”

SG – “Well, are you like very conservative, old-fashioned?”

JG – “Yes.”

SG - “Well what kind of old-fashioned views do YOU have?”

JG – “uh…..I don’t know……”

SG - “So do you believe in ‘theocracy’?”

JG – “I am not sure……. If you mean theocracy like restoring the lineage of David to political power, you could say that I believe in ‘theocracy’…….”

…….

SG – “So what kind of a Jew is that guy?”

JG – “What guy?”

SG – “The guy with the black hat over there.”

JG – “…uh….I dunno…..”

SG – “Is he Chasidic?”

JG – “I don’t know, you might want to go ask him…….Actually, that would be kinda interesting, I would like to see that . Why don’t you go over and ask him what kind of a Jew he is?”